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Monday, June 11, 2012

10 Ponderations on Love & Friendship: A Survey By Moi






Are you the curious type? I am. I think people are much more interesting when they are faced with telling questions that reveal their true nature. I mean questions that make one think and consider the way they roll through this comic strip called LIFE. With this in mind, a while back I composed a survey on one of my other blogs. I thought why not try it here for those who are bold or honest enough to face the truth of themselves. So, without further ado, I now present

Moanman’s 10 Ponderations on Love & Friendship:

(A survey by me)



1. YOU are at your best and are MOST REAL when:


a) you’re comfortable with another soul
b) when you’re drunk off your azz
c) when you’re all alone
d) when buck-naked, in the aftermath of a session of transcendent sex?


LMR: A) When I'm comfortable w/ another soul. When the vibe is right, whether we're engaging in convo or long stretches of silence, everything else just flows.



2. When someone physically shows you love or vividly displays their love for you, your usual M.O. is to:


a)reciprocate that action in some form or fashion
b) panic and head for the nearest exit
c) smile, sigh and let the moment pass
d) take it as a given and do nothing?



LMR: A) Usually I'll return the gesture. Not that I should *feel* OBLIGATED, but I firmly believe that kindness begets kindness, and love should be a sharing of spirits.

3. When you blatantly tell a LIE to someone you're supposed to love and trust, do you:


a) feel mad guilty about it
b) let it go of it like an accidental fart
c) say a silent prayer
d) assume everyone lies, so what's the biggie?



LMR: A) I’d feel mad guilty... but I'm not perfect & sometimes a gentle lie becomes necessary.


4. Picture it: You’re engaged in a very intimate relationship where certain shameful secrets and deeply mortifying truths are revealed. Later on... you and your former intimate are no longer speaking, yet, you are still armed with that precious and intimate info… when upset, pissed, in a bad mood, would you:

a) use that precious info against them
b) make a crude joke about it
c) still hold tight to that precious information
d) tell all your friends and have a good loud laugh about it?



LMR: C) Keeping someone's secret is a sacred thing. All we have is our word, and if I promised to keep it earlier, then my word is my bond.

5. Someone you purportedly love is all hurt-up and emotional. *You* did *not* personally cause this hurt, but you’re really NOT in the mood to deal with it. Do you…

a) tell them that in effect 'This too Shall Pass'
b) sigh, let them riff and bore you to tears
c) be kind and listen with an understanding ear, perhaps even offering advice
d) simply tell them buck-up, and stop being such a drama queen?


LMR: A & C. I would try A... hoping it will help and that they might become philosophical about their plight. But if that didn't work... *sigh* then C would be the move.


6. When YOU’VE hurt someone, unintentionally, are you usually sensitive or compassionate enough to even be aware of it? If so, how would you generally follow-through to help close that emotional wound? Would you most likely...

a) let time pass and trust them to get over it
b) make an effort to fix what's broken by a call, an email, a letter
c) invite them out to have dinner and a long talk
d) shrug, and question if this friend is a bit too damn sensitive for your comfort level?



LMR: C) Communication is key. Everyone has their stuff, their issues, quirks and things that upset them. We may be unaware of such issues... so having dinner, breaking bread & talking it out helps us to understand where we're BOTH coming from, and hopefully this will squash the madness, literally.


7. Have you ever meant to tell someone the Gentle Truth, but it came out harsh and hurtfully? If so, did you...

a) Ignore it
b) Try to fix it
c) Pretty it up to avoid drama
d) Simply let that Truth breathe and breed?



LMR: Depending upon the situation, I might see the need to apply D... let the truth breathe, hoping that they might begin to check themselves.

8. When a close friend wants to hang out with you, but you’re too busy or just not in the mood, your tendency is to...



a) deliver a quick and feeble excuse
b) tell them you’re not feeling it, and hope they’ll understand
c) shrug off your plans, sigh, and accompany them, like a good martyr
d) gently remind them that you have a life that doesn’t always have to include them?



LMR: B) Being that I'm an author, I'll often use the little free time I have to write and be creative. So a true friend would have to understand that, and not take it personally.


9. If Love is a verb, are your verbal enough for, and to those you love?

a) nah. I'm more of a noun person
b) 'what does love is a verb' really mean?
c) hell to duh yeah! I'ma verber by nature!
d) it depends upon my romantic/gentle disposition


LMR: C) I tend to be very, VERY, vurrrrrrrrrr verbal.


10. Was the last thing you did in the name of Love...

a) something sweet and kind
b) something sexy and physical
c) something martyr-like and sacrificial
d) something warm, sentimental and lasting?



LMR: C) Sometimes you have to sacrifice for love. It’s usually your most telling verb.



That's it. That's all.


And for those who chose to answer, thanks for the honesty.


One.


Lin

18 comments:

Val said...

01. - You are at your best and most real when;

C - When I'm all alone.

There was a "soul" once that I was my most real with. But she's not around now. I'm hoping my current "soul" and I can build the same trust.

02. - When someone physically shows you love or displays their love for you, your usual M.O. is to;

Reciprocate in some form or fashion

03. - When you blatantly tell a LIE to someone you're supposed to love and trust, do you;

Lol, I haven't told a blatant lie in a long, long while, Lin.

04. - You’re engaged in a very intimate relationship where certain shameful secrets and deeply mortifying truths are revealed. Later on you and your former intimate are no longer speaking, yet, you are still armed with that precious and intimate info… when upset, pissed, in a bad mood, would you;

C - Still hold on to that precious info. I wouldn't use private info like that to hurt someone. That's low.


05. - Someone you purportedly love is hurt-up and emotional. *You* did *not* personally cause this hurt, but you’re really NOT in the mood to deal with it. Do you…

C - be kind and listen with an understanding ear, perhaps even offering advice

I'm a pretty compassionate person. I wouldn't turn a friend in need away.


06. - When YOU’VE hurt someone, unintentionally, are you usually sensitive or compassionate enough to even be aware of it? If so, how would generally follow-through to help to close that emotional wound? Would you most likely


B - Make an effort to fix what's broken.


07. - Have you ever meant to tell someone the Gentle Truth, but it came out harsh and hurtfully? If so, did you...

B - Try to fix it.

08. - When a close friend wants to hang out with you, but you’re busy or just not in the mood, your tendency is to:

It depends, Lin, on the situation. Sometimes people want to hang because they're going through something or because the two of you haven't been out in a while. If either of those situations were the case I'd just go.

09. - If Love is a verb, are your verbal enough for, and to those you love?


C - I generally show my love by actions.


10. - Was the last thing you did in the name of Love?

A - Something sweet and kind. I suppose that's closet to describe it. Lately I've been showing my love for The Girlfriend by cooking more. Lol

Very interesting survey, Lin!

Moanerplicity said...

Thanks Val.

re question #1: I think the Supreme Test of mutual compatibility is when you're able to share a prolonged & COMFORTABLE silence w/ someone & there's no need to speak or do anything to interrupt that shared quietude. Hell, most folks can't seem to do that w/ family members so when you find a "soul" where you can chill like that & just BE... that's a sure sign of depth & of like-spirits.


LOL @ blatant lie! Well, Valentina... there are times when people almost ASK you to lie to them. As in "do these pants make me look fat?" LMBAO!

But I try not to voluntarily tell a lie. Like: Damn! You look FLY in those pants! When I was never asked in the first place & I really DON'T think you look fly at all. THAT would be wrong & a blatant UNTRUTH!

Smell me?

Thanks for the honesty, Val.


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WynnSong said...

Interesting....
I knew we thought a lot a like but as I answered and saw your answers....hehehe......
It confirmed that thought.....

Mizrepresent said...

Yep, it's true, great minds do indeed think alike. I was so surprised to find myself answering the questions exactly as you did.Except for the last question, i chose D.

Anna Renee said...

1. Im most comfortable when Im alone. Unless the person is really real. People tend to be over-sensitive, and I like poking and prodding and joking and stuff.

2.When someone shows me love, I like to reciprocate in my own kinda way.

3.If I've decided to tell a blatant lie, its because they cant handle the truth. Either that or I cant handle the truth. So I let it go like a fart.

4.I'm holding numerous shameful secrets of people I used to love right this minute, and will go to my grave with the secrets. I feel that I betray MYSELF to release the secret.

5.For my hurt-up friends, I'd do C for the prescribed time, then I'd do a major D on them if they try to drag me along too damned long. Some folks like misery and try to force you to stay joined up with them in misery's company. I aint got time for the soap opera drama - the never ending story, yo!

If I've hurt someone, I have issues dealing with it. I'd let time pass and pray they get over it. A whole lot of time depending on how close they are to me.

6. This is my prob right here. When the truth comes out all harsh, I'd pretty it up to avoid drama. But if they see through that, I'd let it breathe and breed. Some people can't handle the truth. So they could learn how.

7.When a close friend wants to hang out and I dont feel like it, I'll do and say: All of the above.

8.I have messed up relationships because I was nouning a verbal person. I'm learning at this very moment. Probably why I kept attracting Capricorns. They're attracted to my nouns but then expect verbs halfway into the darn thing.

9. The last thing I did for love was martyr-like and sacrificial. It didnt go over well cause it was filled with nouns.

Thanks Brother Eastside!

Moanerplicity said...

@ Wynn:

Really? Every one of my answers would concur w/ yours? Beyond the whole 'great minds thinking alike' thing... that's just a lil scurry. lol.


One.

Moanerplicity said...

@ Miz:

Wow! You too? There must be an Epidemic of Common Sense going on here! *smiles* I actually understand why you'd go w/ D on that last question. Sometimes we are lead solely by our moods. It's very primal.


One.

Moanerplicity said...

@ AM:

First, thanks for taking the time out to answer & further explain your comments. In between head nods, smirks, & LOL, I feel like I KNOW you mo betta.

You wrote: "This is my prob right here. When the truth comes out all harsh, I'd pretty it up to avoid drama. But if they see through that, I'd let it breathe and breed. Some people can't handle the truth. So they could learn how."


That's very true. Not everyone can handle the cold hard truth, even if THEY ASK for it. Part of loving someone is determining their strengths & weaknesses, & to play up their strengths whenever possible, & build new muscles upon their weaknesses. The latter is a rough gig sometimes. People tend to step up & to evolve at their own pace.


Yup, we Caps DO have our higher expectations we would LIKE others to live up to, which often never EVER happens, so we end up all silently hurt-up & disappointed. Our bad. We need to stop dragging others up those imagined pedestals that WE ourselves have erected for them.



Thanks again, Sista Eastsiiiiide!


One.

Anna Renee said...

@Lin - I'm learning my lessons right this minute. I might have a third chance with a Taurus, so I gotta play my cards right and be a little bit more sensitive and climb down outta my head and into my heart.
This self assessment is so right on time for me, you just don't know. Thanks a million my brother. :D

Moanerplicity said...

Awwww, you're welcome Anna.

Sometimes taking a little honest, keepin-it-real self-inventory is what's needed to help us become better friends, lovers & better people in general.

And I wish you all the best in your pursuit of that Taurean cat. ;-)


One.

Chet said...

Most certainly things to ponder; I answered each inquiry as honestly as possible and I'm don't always use good judgement.... Yikes!

Okay let me ponder a bit longer and try it again.

SABAH said...

Yo Pops....its ya son Capa don...i emailed you at your woodster email address. hope you're well man. miss you much. hit me up: mroprejean@gmail.com

Lovebabz said...

I like this very much! However I am not going to answer... I need a little contemplative time with these questions. I may even post this over at my spot.

As always, very thought provoking.

Moanerplicity said...

@ Chet:

I think we're all guilty of NOT always applying our best judgment in certain situations. But that's cool. As long as we're engaged in TRYING to improve... we'll remain these complex little works in progress.


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Moanerplicity said...

Yo, Capa!

I'll holla.


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Moanerplicity said...

@Lovebabz:

oTAY. You don't have to share your answers here. But if some further contempation is needed, well, it's time you GIT TUH PONDERIN'... On DUH PONDEROSA! (smiles)

One.

Curious said...

Oh crikey this is like work:

1) I am at my most real, which isn’t necessarily my best, when I am comfortable with another soul.
2) When someone physically shows me love I’ll do all the above. It depends on who it is and what my real feelings are for that person.
3) When I tell a blatant lie I feel guilty about because even if I know it won’t come back to bite me, I would feel less about myself and unable to sure that I would receive the truth in return.
4) I would almost never reveal information that was given to me in confidence. Trust is something that is very hard to come by and if someone can’t trust me then why should I expect to trust anyone else?
5) If someone I love is hurt the only thing I can really do is listen and see if I can help. Anything else would just be me being disingenuous and fobbing them off.
6) If I hurt someone unintentionally, I usually am too much of a coward to admit that I was wrong so I usually let time pass and hope they get over it. Not proud of it, but there it is.
7) If the “gentle truth” has come out badly then like 6 I’ll probably ignore it, or depending on who it is, I may try to fix it by stating it another way but with backup.
8) If a close friend wants to hang out and I don’t, I don’t and tell them so. I learned a long time ago that being somewhere that you don’t want to be is in the end a favor to no one.
9) Like most men, I think, if I love someone I believe they’ll know it without me having to say it. Of course in real life that doesn’t really ring true, but I still act that way.
10) I wish I could say the last thing I did for love was warm and sentimental and lasting, but it wasn’t and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Moanerplicity said...

@ Curious:

Thanks, man. I'm glad I could make you go to those places that reveal your inner Ian. *smiles*


re # 8: There is something about our species that makes us gunshy when the subject is love, or more precisely, our making a verb of love. But that can only be improved upon when we make an effort to do mo betta.

Thanks for taking the time to answer. I appreciate the honesty & the 'work' you put into it.

;-P


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