If you can smile like an imbecile, without a worry in your brain
If you can start the day with no nicotine or little caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring others with your troubles,
If you can eat plain food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
Bet ya thought I was about to get all spiritual on your azzes, didn't you..?