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Monday, March 19, 2012

A “Hero” Ain’t Just a Sandwich

Question: Has anything or anyone ever brought you down to your knees (and NOT in a good way!)? I mean has anything or anyone ever left you completely and utterly broken?


The other evening I spent some time breaking bread in the company of an old friend, or I should say, a former friend. We’d parted ways two decades ago when he’d began his extended and tripped-out odyssey into the world of heroin…


… and I’d suffered far too long from chronic bouts of compassion overload.

Drugs are so damned pervasive, insidious, and so powerful that the addict very soon ends up indulging in junkie behaviors: junking people... junking friends, family and relationships... junking truth and beauty and any expression of love... trading them in for the trip, that temporary euphoria of the all-mighty high.

To paraphrase the late Rick James whose bout was mainly with cocaine, one could just substitute the substance by stating: 'That heroin is a helluva drug!'

After so much personal tragedy, including a harrowing house fire which claimed the life of a beloved family member, his life then took a turn, and did a complete 180. And now things are diff. He’d made the decision to get clean... once and for all. It wasn't an easy thing to do. Some people either fail miserably, or they die trying.

But homeboy possessed the will of a panther and the heart of a lion. After several stints in rehab, at long last, he’s recently been released, having kicked a 20 year skag habit.

I applaud him.

I was and remain very proud of him; proud that he didn’t allow the drugs to defeat and completely destroy him. I realize that when some thing or some force takes over your life for such a long period of time, it, in affect, owns you. You become ITS slave. Sadly far too many of us never get those freedom papers back, so we never truly own our lives again.

But this cat somehow reached down deep, rose up, found the strength within to call out his demons and is currently living clean and sober, one day at a time.

While speaking with him, and experiencing this brand new clarity in his eyes, I was suddenly reminded that even when the world turns a cold and unfeeling shoulder to us, as long as we don’t give up on our selves, we remain these promising, do-or-die works in progress. Life will hande the rest. Life can perform a hat-trick and produce its own miracle on us… and that no matter what goes on in our lives, we must continue, like sharks at sea, to just keep it moving. This may sound deceptively easy, almost too simplistic... but there are some things, some issues, some everyday crisis situations that can derail, deconstruct and cripple us if we are not careful or strong in faith.

I must repeat the initial question:

Has anything or anyone ever brought you down to your knees(and NOT in a good way!)? I mean, has anything or anyone ever left you completely and utterly broken?

Toxic people, anxiety, frustration, and worry can easily seize, then bogart the mind and this affects our every action. We may find ourselves seeking false gods, turning the bottle up, sticking needles in our arms, snorting, smoking, acting out violently, smashing skins indiscriminately, doing whatever we can to appease and pacify this silent ache within us. Only Our Creator knows what we have endured, what we can endure, or are enduring and what can bring us to that point of no return. Some of us have been through and somehow survived abuses, addictions, illness, infidelities, divorces, sudden deaths, and known by heart the atrocities and acts of inhumanity shown by our fellow man. Many of us have ventured through or are currently going through the darkened tunnels of our own mistakes, troubles, misfortunes, and personal catastrophes. Some of us are living beneath the weight of lies, secrets and things we've never told others about the skidmarks and scars that have marred our lives, and some of these things have left us with the inability to communicate with anyone. But change is a real thing, an action, a verb. It is an entity that we can always embrace. That's our option.

When we parted, I embraced him tightly, and found myself telling him that he was now “my hero.”


Yes. I know. It sounded corny as hell, but I truly MEANT it.

Strange how we never know which people in this life will actually inspire us.

No matter what comes our way, no matter how deep or beastly that old rabid dig called Trouble might be, it will only defeat us, or get the best of us, or kill us, if WE allow it to destroy.

Just because something is broken within us doesn’t mean it can never be cured, fixed or readjusted. Sometimes all it requires is a change in perception, and in attitude. Sometimes what it requires is to surrender it; to give it all to a Higher Power

And always remember this:

"Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes..." -Anonymous

That’s it. That’s all.

Snatch JOY!



Roger Poladopoulos said...

Very inspirational and so true. No matter how good and upright each of us think we are, we never really know who can and will uplift us. Sometimes, those we judge unworthy and beneath us teach us the most important and valuable lessons in life. I know. I had to learn this the hard way. And, I'm a better man because I only had to experience this once before I vowed to myself: never again. Thank you, sir, for the reminder.

Val said...

Yep, I had someone bring me to my knees and I'm still recovering from that years later. But as they say, one day at a time, right.

Your friend is very lucky to have you, Lin. Many people go through bad times and come out of it with no friends left.

Lovebabz said...

All I know is the we are not our worst moments.

Reggie said...

I think all of us have watched drugs take down a friend or relative. It's frustrating because we can sit back with complete clarity watching in horror, while someone we love injects death in their veins.

We all get knocked down, it's important that all of us get back up.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Just because something is broken within us doesn’t mean it can never be cured, fixed or readjusted. Sometimes all it requires is a change in perception, and in attitude. Sometimes what it requires is to surrender it; to give it all to a Higher Power

Beautiful story!
I was once broken and then like you said, "Give it all to a Higher Power."

Surrendering to Him truly set me free.

Love for a great day!
Free Spirit Butterfly

thegayte-keeper said...

Lovebabz hit the nail on the head.

Mizrepresent said...

Beautiful post. Beautiful music in my ears. So many times the resilience of the human spirit has brought me to my knees. I believe it's something we need to recognize not only our blessings, but how that person has blessed us once again with FAITH! With STRENGTH and with ENDURANCE. And for me, further encouragement to keep on keeping on.

Anna Renee said...

You ask:
"Has anything or anyone ever brought you down to your knees(and NOT in a good way!)? I mean, has anything or anyone ever left you completely and utterly broken?"

Yes. I have. I've had some ugly things happen to me. People who have done me wrong. But what I did was a thousand times worse.

I told myself lies that I was worthless for a very long time; and in many ways, I set myself up for mistreatment.

So I brought me down; for 30 plus years I lied; but God has lifted me back up. Tilted my face upward and wiped my tears and told me the Truth. I know it was God because it didnt happen until I came back to him. Now I love me some me like never before.

Moanerplicity said...

@ Roger:

I try to never think of anyone as lower than or 'beneath' me because life can truly take us down a few pegs & instant karma can humble us when we least expect it.

I'm pleased to know that you learned that essential lesson & are all the better for it.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Val:

Depending on the amount, degree or the depth of our emotional injuries, & just who caused it, we tend to heal at our own speed.

Forgiving is the ultimate goal, though. Even if we forgive less for the sake of the people who've hurt us, & more for our OWN peace of mind.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Lovebaz:

That's very wise & it can be true. I'll definitely have to remember that.

Although in some cases, in those worst moments, people can show you who they truly are... & this is actually a window into the essential core of them... & in those instances, we really NEED to pay attention.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Reggie:

You wrote: "It's frustrating because we can sit back with complete clarity watching in horror, while someone we love injects death in their veins."

This is the saddest truth of all... that sense of complete impotence & utter uselessness one feels when the people we love slowly destroy themselves. It's a tragedy & it's out of our peower to help or heal them. We can only pray they will eventually seek the help needed to fix/cure/reconstruct themselves.

Yes, indeed, we CAN get up. And we need to always remember that power lies deep within us to do so, before it's too late.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Free Spirit Butterfly:

Giving it all to a Higher Power is probably one of the strongest & most necessary things we can do. It's the opposite being weak or being defeated. It's about KNOWING that we can't always be our own Superman or Superwoman.

It's the wisdom to know that we need to seek a Divine Specialist to treat what ails us or what darkens our situations.

And the best news at all: That Divine Doctor is ALWAYS on call!


Moanerplicity said...

@ Gayte-keeper:

I agree. Well... sometimes I do. Other times... not so much.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Miz:

My Faith & Strength Deliverers are the people/spirits that I adore & treasure most on this planet. All it takes is one to give us what we need, just WHEN we need it most to continue to go on... & I've more than one, so I'm doubly Blessed.

Glad you liked the music. :-)


Moanerplicity said...

@ Anna May:

Wow! Thanks for your testimony. I hate knowing that others have hurt or emotionally wounded you, but it seems none of us escape this life unblemished or unscarred by the acts of others.

The important things is that eventually you knew just where to go and just Who to turn to when the time came to recapture your authentic Anna Renee-ness.

That's really the lesson in all this. We are never alone. We are never beyond the point of healing, if we continue to keep the faith.

Thank you. And I Loves You, Bess.



WynnSong said...


J said...

beautiful and heartfelt post brotha pen!

Society is often dismissive to people with addictions. Your friends story is inspirational and it proves that demons can be conquered by taking it one day at a time. Salute to him and salute to you!

Moanerplicity said...

Thanks, Wynn.


Moanerplicity said...

@ J:

Inspirational, indeed! I'm always admiring of people who rise above the odds & somehow become victorious long after the rest of the world has given up on them!

Thanks, J.


Chet said...

Inspiration comes from some of the strangest places. The important thing is to take heed to the message.

Desertflower said...

This is truly beautiful!

Moanerplicity said...

Indeed, Brotha Chet! Indeed! On the inspirational tip: The longer I live the more often I find this to be true.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Desertflower:

Thanks very much. Watching someone rising from the ashes of their own self-destruction can be a truly 'beautiful' thing.


Team Keala Brown said...

Love how you wrote that and commanded us to Snatch JOY!
To answer your question, the unhealthy relationship I called my marriage brought me to my knees. Going through the divorce showed me how strong I really am.

Thanks for sharing.

Moanerplicity said...

@Team Keala Brown:

"Snatch JOY!" has become sorta my catch-phrase & my personal mantra. JOY is a commodity we sometimes forget exists but it's always available to us if we choose it, as opposed to unhappiness, sadness & drama.

Thanks for passing thru... &

Snatch JOY!