To Purchase My Book

CLICK to BUY Like Litter In The Wind, a Novel By L.M. Ross

Monday, December 19, 2011

One Whole YEAR, Smoke-free… Dammit, Applaud Me!


Bogie was Coooool & All... But... Please Don't Believe The Hype!


The picture above was taken the last time I ever smoked. I wanted to memorialize The Moment. I wanted to pay homage to Bogart and McQueen (both who died from cancer, btw) and all those very cool cinematic peeps to blew smoke and fury and signified nothing, and yet further served to punctuate their brand of uber mystique.

So… Here’s The Method To My Madness:

Yesterday, December 18th, was not only the natal day of my longest-lasting childhood friend (Happy Burfday, Val!), but it also marked the one year anniversary of my Emancipation from the Nicotine stick.

Yes, applaud me! In fact… BIG-AZZ congrats to me!

Sadly, there were no parties, no NY headlines, no parades, no fireworks, and there was no holiday held in my honor. In the grand scheme of things it wasn’t a banner day that will live in infamy, but it did and does mean something to me, and to those who’ve loved and supported me through my fight.

I have not fallen back, fallen off, slipped back, fell down, went BOOM, fell from some high expectation, and busted my azz on the way down, gotten weak and /or reverted back to type. In fact, I can now state, with just a small bit of determined cockiness that I AM cig-free. This is not some hiatus. This is NOT a drill. I've passed those tests. This is the Real Deal. I no longer crave a morning cigarette, or need a smoke after a full meal. I no longer depend upon a smoke to relieve tension or stress. I no longer need a smoke after sex. I don't smoke anymore when I’m bored, when I could use a physical prop or need something to do with my hands. I no longer feel the need to light up a ‘Port when I’m writing and creating new worlds or trying like hell to finish a cogent thought. I no longer seek that designated spot to light up outside in the summer heat or the crazy cold while communing with my fellow fag igniters. I no longer have to search pockets or ramble thru drawers to hustle up those extra bucks to feed that monkey on my back who refuses to let me be! Gone are those days and nights when I'd be forced to rustle up those extra coins and spare change just to pay that steadily increasing tab on those demon cigs! AND... no longer do I feel compelled to head out in the middle of a freaking blizzard to cop those necessary tits to suck upon as I wait out some hellish winter assault.

Whew! It was mad rough being ME a year ago!

Yes, trust, in the past, I’ve done all those things (and more) until I was indigo-blue in the face! But that was then.... and this is now.

My NOW contains no residual smoky odors, no stuffy coughs, and no stifling air. My NOW is a new and crystal-clear outlook; a brand-new confidence in me and in my ability. The NOW is a celebration of my willpower. The now eschews the thought of lighting up and instead takes a deep breath, goes for a walk, or meditates, or reads a book.

I do not want to come off here as being superior (I’m NOT!) or holier than thou, as some former smokers are apt to do. I am not nor do I ever plan on becoming one of those Cigarette Nazi People! Not a fan. If my friend smokes, I’m not the one to be making speeches, or giving tedious testimony on the evils of the weed. Naw! That cat’s NOT me! I DO, however, have a few rules set into place:

I don’t want anyone smoking IN my crib! Sounds simple, right?

Well, at the moment, I'm currently housing someone (an in-law) who is a moderate-to-heavy smoker. This is a person, who, even AFTER having a scare and then surviving a serious bout with breast cancer… continues to smoke!!! I have already spoken to her about it. I have given her a few medical facts about my heart condition. I had HOPED that by my being so candid, she would, perhaps, if NOT quit, then at the very least STOP SMOKING IN MY CRIB! Second-hand smoke ain’t NO joke! And still I awaken to find my bathroom REEKS of smoke! Not trying to be a hard-ass, and besides, we’ve already ARGUED about this, and how, IF she wants to continue to stay here, she will HAVE to smoke outside or in her car, or a someplace else! And yet, its like that heated convo never even took place! This witch just keeps on smokin' and smoking... and SMOKIN' some mo. I understand the POWER of the habit. I do. I understand it intimately. So, I will give her until the start of the NEW YEAR before I kick her lax, lazy, disrespectful azz to that proverbial curb. Family relationships be DAMNED! After all, this is MY HEALTH and I refuse to allow it or myself to be played. I refuse, after MUCH personal sacrifice, to have it sabotaged by someone else, when I’m trying to do them a favor. Smell me?

In fact, go ahead, smell me. I dare ya! You won’t find anything other than a faint whiff of my Dolce & Gabbana cologne, ironically named “The One.

So, where's the party? The balloons? And can a Brotha get a hug or sum'm up in this piece?

Happy Holidays to You & Yours!



Anonymous said...

*striking up the band*

Go, Lin, go! Go, Lin, go! Yeaaaaaa, Lin!

I'm proud of you! I know how difficult quitting is so congratulations!

Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz said...

Having never smoked, except rarely in college to be 'hip' I never had to kick the habit but know it must be hard as I have a coworker who lies to her folks that she quit so they'd buy her a car and she did, for about a month...

So, Hip Hip Hooray, Kudos, Congrats, Ovations, Applause and imagine virtual balloons!

Dorrie said...


Merry Christmas to you, Len!

Mizrepresent said...

I applaud you! Give you big daps and a grand ole hug! My mom had to quit, and did just 3 mos ago after her stroke and she smoked for 60 + years, so i know the difficulty. But she hasn't went back, an i haven't let her slide. I don't preach or prod, but since no one can smoke in my house and she lives with me, it just makes it all that easier. Have a wonderful Christmas Lin, an stand your ground, not only will you be grateful for it, but you fam will as well in the end.

QH said...

Cute, definitely do the celebration dance. Glad you conquered your habit, and you're better than me when it comes to doing someone else a favor & they don't respect your wishes.

I'd be snatching a wig, lol.-QH

Curious said...

Job well done!

Has it really been a year? I remember thinking of how jealous I should have been when you first said that you had quit. But now I think I should have been figuring out how to join instead.

Well congratulations! I'm going to tell my monkey that you're doing fine and then maybe one day he'll leave me just like yours left you.

Moanerplicity said...

@Val: Thanks, Val. You're right. It hasn't been all that easy, but well worth it in the longrun.


Moanerplicity said...


Thanks, Teri. I wish thse who never smoked could UNDERSTAND the intensity of the habit & the effect it has on a smoker. But... well anyway, I appreciate those virtual balloons. (smiles)


Moanerplicity said...

Thanks Dorrie! And Happy Holidays to You & Yours, my friend.


Moanerplicity said...

@ Miz:

Hey, Sista Pen. I meant to ask you about your moms AND your brother, who you'd mentioned was also trying to quit last year. Hope they are BOTH successful in STAYING smoke-free. I think YOUR no-smoking-in-the-crib RULE actually makes it easier for your mom to obey it & eventually quit altogether.

I'm sending positive vibes out to them both! Hey, if I can do it, then no doubt THEY can!

Happy Holidays, Sista Pen!


Moanerplicity said...


Exactly! How about showing SOME respect to the host!? And ironically, if I were that type to go off physically on someone, then, TRUST, there would be a couple of wigs to be snatched!


Moanerplicity said...

@ Curious:

Thanks, man. Yup, it's been a WHOLE YEAR. And I really feel like I'm no different, in terms of staying true to myself & the promise I made (in a public arena) to finally STOP smoking. It really does come down to personal willpower, the power of prayer, & taking one's health seriously.

As I stated earlier, IF I can do this, w/ my own set of weaknesses & temptations, then so can YOU or anyone w/ the same habit. I truly DO believe that's real. Life is as hard as we sometimes make it upon ourselves.


And Happy Holidays to you & yours, my Brotha.



Lovebabz said...

YOU DESERVE A STANDING OVATION! (I am on the bar dancing...doing a mean Tango for you!)

I can't believe it's been a year! WOW! You ought to applaud yourself for the strength and determination!

As for your family member you have every right to DEMAND that she not smoke in your place. Your place is your sanctuary. Do not let anyone disrespect your sanctuary.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a happy smoke-free New Year!

thegayte-keeper said...


Moanerplicity said...

@Lovebabz: Thanks muchly, MaMa! I may have to join you in that Tango. LOL. Yes, I AM feelin very proud of this anniversary, becuz were times, some weak moments, when I doubted if I'd ever see it through.

As for the rest, YES! MY HOME SHOULD BE MY OWN DAMN SANCTUARY! That fact will be definitely a part of my curb-kickin speech! Trust!

Happy Holidays, SistaLo!


Moanerplicity said...

@Gayte-keeper: *doing my low-budget Elvis here*...



J said...

How did I miss this?

I'm proud of you my dude. *throws liberation colored confetti*

Reggie said...

That's quite an accomplishment!!! So many smokers never stop. The only reason my father stopped is because he died.

I'm the only person that grew up in my parents home that didn't smoke. Both of them smoked and so did my brother and sister.

It's an awful habit, I'm glad to hear you kicked it.

Moanerplicity said...

@ J:

Thanks, Bro Pen! I'm not big on self-bragging (much!)... but that liberation confetti would be a vurrr nice touch. *smiles*


Moanerplicity said...

@ Reggie:

Thanks for the congrats. Very, very sorry about your dad. It's sad that stopping proves impossible for some. I think the fact that people die from it, even after doctor's warnings, illustrates just how TOUGH & POWERFUL the smoking habit is to break!


Anonymous said...

This is HUGE! Good for you! I know it is hard to give up a habit. I have given up one of mine and it is going great.

Moanerplicity said...

@ Lesbian Brooklynite:

Thanks so very much. Maybe it takes another hardcore been there- done-that-FORMER-smoker to UNDERSTAND the difficulty & the depth of this accomplishment!

Mad congrats to YOU on YOUR freedom from the nicotine crutch also!