Happy Birthday To My Da

Dear Da,

Today, on this July 28th, I feel this need to tell you everything inside me… roll call all my successes, failures, joys fears… and my heartbreaks. I feel as if I should name them all, one by one, for each day, each month, each year you’ve been gone.

Instead, I’ll simply say: Happy Birthday, Da…

Your brown and brooding essence is now a Spirit that possesses my older face. Beneath its surface, some claim to see this trace of Implicit sadness. Still, Da,

I need to tell you this:

I’m so glad you were my father. Blessed, that you stayed when other fools ran, strayed or escaped to places free of their sons and daughter’s cries. Each day in my mind, I thank you for being the person you were: A Man, a Husband, my Dad… and not some Houdini version of manhood.

You managed to form the words: “I love you, son.” And you said them more than once. You spoke them in a voice that even today carries me through this world of uncertainty, untruths, disappointment and ruthlessness.

Thank you for showing and giving me lessons in loyalty. Thank you for that voice which still lingers here like the singer in my brain of this song I call My Life. Thank you for being strong and standing for The Real Things, like hard work and honesty; a steadfast belief in God, and humility.

Thank you for the gifts of laughter; for those golden seasons of summers, and even the winters. Thank you for loving my mother in a way she always deserved to be Loved.

Though you weren’t very tall, I walk in your stalwart shadow now. Yes, I am a small thing made larger by your presence. Some say I am your ‘spit,’ your son, your mirror reflection. and yet, in some lone way, I am different.

I wish we had more days in the sun, more time to decipher and fix all our mutual complications. Yet, when I speak of love there is no mystery, no bitterness, nor distraught insensitivity.

I GET love now. You taught me this! Though the clouds have coalesced and swallowed your sun, you’ll always cast a giant’s shadow over this kid, this runt, this man I’ve become.

I need to tell you this:

I’m so glad you were my father. Blessed, that you stayed when other fools ran, strayed or escaped to places free of their sons and daughter’s cries. Each day in my mind, I thank You for being the kind of person you were: A Man, a Husband, My Da.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

One Love.

from Lin

Copyright© 2013 By L.M. Ross